regrets

hah.
i'm finally starting on this.
gosh. i've been procrastinating for 2 hours.
bleah, this is why i hate social networks, because they distract me so much =.=
anyway.
yesterday was christmas.
today's boxing day.
and in around a week, it'll be new year soon.
so this is like, the last week of december, as well as 2011.
gosh.
it feel so fast.
i just feel so stuck between sec 2 and sec 3.
i'd say that those 2 years were the best of my secondary life.
just 4 days ago was the sec 1 orientation for 2012.
hahah, i remember MY orientation.
mr cheak was nowhere to be seen.
according to mr chin, "He's currently away. No worries, he's a very nice and honest young man."
yeah RIGHT.
honest.
the first day of school, he told us he was an American Born Chinese.
up till now, i still dont understand why the whole class seriously fell for it!
hahaha.
back to the orientation..
i remember seeing sam somewhere at the back to the row.
and i thought to myself, "OHMYGOD. THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE A GANGSTER."
my mum saw YT and she was like :o
we went back home and i started crying because i was so scared my class was very gangster-like.
HAHA LOOK HOW THINGS TURNED OUT.
after 4 years, we all became such close friends!
what a pleasant twist of fate! :)
so yes.
4 years have passed.
i still can't get over that fact.
ugh.
anyway.
2008 - 2011.
have i regretted anything through these years?
i'd be lying if i said i didnt.
my first regret would be...
late 2008.

i still remember that phone prank.
do you?
i knew it was a prank, but you asked me the same question again after a
week.
i'm sorry i didnt give you a definate answer.
but my heart was screaming yes, so loudly that i couldn't contain it.
yet it was my pride which stopped me from being upfront with you.
or maybe it was fear?
i dont know.
all i know is that i didnt give you an answer.
i'm so sorry for that.
so much would/not have happened.
but then, i dont know if it was for revenge.
because, you didnt give me an answer either.
everyday, i asked you, through my actions.
and yet?
you pushed me away.
i dont even know if you'd ever treated me as a friend.
yes it was probably wishful thinking on my part, thinking that you'd like
me.
but you didn't even treat me as a friend.
so much for calling me your best friend few months before you lost
it.
what happened?
why did it happen?
we stopped talking altogether soon after.
was this really what you wanted?
to stop me?
after a really long time, we finally talked.
but it was so weird.
you face was of someone so familiar, and yet, you.
you were like a stranger.
someone whom i used to know on the tips of my fingers suddenly became a
stranger.
do you even know how much that hurt?

ugh. i shall stop here now.
bye!