Just a few days ago, my mum asked me, who are your best friends.
I thought really carefully about it.
and the answer was painful..
someone whom i regard as a best friend may not regard me as one.
when i answered my mum, the answer was ____ and ( ____ of 2 years ago).
and then my mum pointed out, if it was the someone of 2 years ago, then it doesnt count.
i am sad.
i'm sad that you changed.
again my mum already pointed this out to me earlier, but i just really refused to face it.
when i really thought it through, it was as though i was slapped hard in the face.
it hurt.
i saw this coming, but still it hurt nonetheless.
maybe it's because i'm a single child that i always put my all into friendships?
so many times that i wish to confide in someone..
and often more than not, i realise that I cant find a suitable person.
sometimes, i choose not to say anything, because the other parties have their own issues too.
but over time, i feel really suffocated.
I hate it, but I really feel lonely.
I really really hate this feeling.
dammit i should stop this now. sigh.
bye.
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