change

"Change is the only constant thing in the world."

So true isn't it?
I went to see AI Choir at the SYF competition on Thursday.
I haven't heard choral music since last year lol.
hearing it after so long feels nostalgic.
in a sense.
I missed how much I sang..
After that me, Wip, Nicole and Yingyang went to eat with Ms Ang.
We discussed quite a lot.
Joked around, what not.
And then suddenly, Ms Ang asked us a serious question.
"Honestly speaking, do you think that A.I. stretched you?"
Without thinking, I actually said no..
Personally, I didn't handle my upper secondary times well.
so much was happening during the transition from sec 2 to sec 3.
it sounds so much like a lame excuse.
but that's true, I let my emotions get the better of me..
anyway, thank god I managed to smoke my way through o levels.
seriously.

Just comparing 2012 and 2013, I feel that I have changed a lot.
I've asked my mum about this and she agrees.
but I haven't really figured if it's a good or a bad thing..
All along sec 4 I felt really alone.
I don't know why.
Was it due to the family problems?
or was it due to friends?
the lines are so blur.
at least now, I've grown to rely a little on the people around me.
a little.
I used to think that I wanted to stay in the past because I was happy.
but thinking again, I don't want to anymore.
going back, what would change?
probably nothing because i'm still me and I'd still make the same decisions that I did.
at least, i'm happy now.
surprisingly, I am. I really am.
though I may still appear sceptical to people, the people I meet are more open minded and they wouldn't ask about my past unless I want to bring it up.
and even if I do mention it they don't really judge.
well, they don't know the other parties.
being in poly has given me kind of a fresh start.
there are times where friends from the past ask to meet up.
I don't mind but talking about old times...
I don't want to live there any more.
yes, the past still haunts me, but it doesn't have a right to stop me from going forward right?
I hope I'm even talking sense right now hahaha.
in summary this is just a ranting post.
I sound like i'm drunk lol.
prolly coz i'm really tired now. ._.
ALRIGHT.
i'll end here.
goodnight!