h i s t o r y

omg.
sigh. why am i like this?
why do i live like this.
._.
at this rate, i feel that history might repeat itself again.
my mum says i should try.
but how..
i know i'm a coward.
i hate my guts too.
but too much is stopping me.
the signs are there but how am i to know for sure?
ask.
ASK?
gosh if it were that easy.
-_-
and i can't afford to screw things up with him because well ...
and it's too big a risk...
it's so hard being me because I feel comfortable being around him.
too comfortable in fact.
._.
he teases me like nobody's business and i can't say shit back to him.
gahhhhhh.
he imitates me and i really have nothing to shot him back. ._.
the funniest part though..
he likes to ask force me to sing when it's just us.
and he's fully aware that i don't like it, simply for the reason that i feel insecure about my voice.
and guess what.
i actually sang along.
//facepalm//
i must be crazy oh gosh.
at this rate i really think history might repeat itself.
it's already happening.
T-T
I should distance myself right?
i mean.. he does have her.
gosh all these are so iffy.
i hate ambiguity. GEEZ.
whatever.. i should sleep.
sorry for the random rant. >.<

i dont want this to happen.
because if it does..
my heart can't take it.
i'm serious. once was enough.
i don't need a second time.
my heart won't be able to go through all of that kinda shit again.