i don't know anymore

why do i always end up meeting you when i think of you? My expression was probably epic but heck. I just met you again like last month? but it feels like forever. Nina.. it’s been what, 6 years?

gosh.. sometimes i don’t know how stupid i can be. holding on to something that will never happen. i hate that i still hope, i really do. you really did hurt me, and yet you were the sweetest to me. i dont see you often, but if i do, i just get so flustered and i cant even control myself. 

I want to get over you so badly. but each time i think about all the unanswered questions my heart starts to ache. What did I do wrong that you had to push me away? why did you do that..?

You know what’s the worst part? I miss you. we never started anything so i can only say that i miss you as my best friend. even the girls weren’t that close to me, you know..

I’m so stupid, right?

A short psychology lesson

When a person laughs too much, even on stupid things, that person is sad deep inside.

When a person sleeps a lot, that person is lonely.

When a person talks less and if he talks fast, that person is keeping a secret.

When a person can’t cry, that person is weak.

When a person eats in an abnormal way, that person is in tension.

When a person cries on little things, that person is softhearted.

When someone asks about you although that someone is busy, he/she really loves you.

boy, I don't care

honestly, i dont know what do you want from me.
i really feel there isnt much we can talk about anymore.
we're already in different schools.
and i wish to distance myself already, so what's your problem man.
dont you even realise that i've been rejecting you countless times already?
i always get this feeling that you're using me.

for goodness sake, this is my friggin house.
not your hotel.
and please, my dad is not your chauffeur.
dont assume.
he is not obligated to do anything for you okay.
so dont fucking take us for granted.
i've been holding this in for a really really long time already.
i only stood up with it because initially it was just study sessions.
since we're all in different schools now, i dont see any need to meet up as often as before you know.
even during the study sessions, just because i was in a "better" (in your tongue) class, i had to bear with all your sacarstic remarks.
that what, i was in the best class but i was failing and all but i shouldn't and WHAT NOT.
if you insult me, fine, it's alright.
you guys just had to insult my friends to right.
seriously, they are MY FRIENDS.
whatever mistakes they have done, I KNOW.
what you don't know was the circumstances they were in.
so dont judge them.
in fact, you shouldnt even be judging anyone at all.
seriously, you dont have the right.
it's not like you're oh so perfect you know.
i can really do without friends people without you.
so i'd really appreciate it if you just live your own life, and i'll live mine happily.

when i cared, you didnt.

so right now, i dont either.

Hello peepo.
Today.
Was pretty frustrating aye.
No frets, I'm okay now.
But yeah, dont step on me.
I can smile and smile and smile - well you get the idea - But I'm just keeping quiet okay.
So dont think I can take anything and everything.

I may be ironwoman, but I'm just human.

So anyway.
On to dailies. :)
History
I feel DAMNDAMN sleepy this time.
I was like dozing off while I wrote notes. -.-
So was it for Sab, Alfiah & Shahirah.
OH well.
Hmm, and I particularly think that this time the SBQ test very short eh.
CRAP MAN.
I think I'm a goner liao lah. (-.-)
:(

Maths
As HY ended later, Mr Thiru started later too.

He asked us this: So how was your test?
Us: BOO!
Him: How many of you says good?
Us: 3 raised hand.
How many said it was great?
Us: 1 raised hand.
How many says it's a GONER?
Us: 3/4 of us raised hand.

HOHO. :D
Then did some practices. :)

MT
Did assessment practice.
Yuwen was practically going mad, by shooting papers.
And YT did the practice ALREADY.
YT! (-.-)

Recess
Ate with Xueqi & twinneh. :)
Some rumor spreaded.
By WILSON. -.-
Damn it lah.
Let me make this clear:
Whether or not am I attached, it's none of your business.
If you choose not to believe it, your choice.
(-.-)
And please do not spread unnecessary rumors.
I have my own privacy.
Oh and, honestly, You haven't seen the worst of me.

Music
Woo, learned more chords~
(;

English
Went through some Readers' Digest comprehension thingy.

IT
@.@
I cant stand it lah.
The freaking ecard is so difficult, right Sabrina?
Irritating aye. -.-

FT
Well, apparently, some e3 guy came to our door and told Mr Cheak for an open challenge for a cup-staking thingy.
I dont knw, thn suddenly we were all in e3.
LOL.
Hilarious, I tell ya.
Then went back, thn I look at Mr Cheak and purposely sigh LOUDLY.
Then he's like: Eh, why you sigh at me?! *tries to hit me*
Me: *ducks*
LOL!
And then Yuwen saw it and she's like, EH! WHY YOU HIT HER?!
Hahahahahahahs! :D:D
Then dismissal.

Honestly, I find it hilarious.
People would rather believe in RUMORS than the TRUTH.
It's really dumb.
Now I know why Michael Jackson died.
Rumors.
Rumors kill.
That was what LaToya (Michael Jackson's elder sis) said.
And so, I thought if this.

Because of rumors, he had depression.
Because of this depression, he took drugs.
Because of these drugs, he was overdosed, and so he died.

Simple theory, but it makes sense, doesn't it?
This isn't a first time in the music/entertainment scene anyway.
Other eg: Leslie Cheung
I find it really stupid.
A life can be taken because of these stupid rumors.
We only have this one chance at living.
It's either we respond to it or totally ignore it.
Honestly, ignoring isn't a solution, but with time, it is.
By responding, things might just get worse, unless you're strong on your stand and religion.
Doing neither doesn't get you anywhere.
But heck, life is just sometimes so ...
However, friends play a strong role too. :)
Thanks Yuwen & YT for your concerns. :))
Loves yo.

Anyway, here are 2 songs I'd like to share.
Nice, and meaningful.
Both songs are in the playlist, so do take a listen to it.

Unfold ; Marie Digby

What i can remember

is a lot like water

trickling down a page

of the most beautiful colors

i can't quite put my finger down

on the moment that i became like this...

You see i am the bravest girl

you will ever come to meet

yet i shrink down to nothing

at the thought of someone

really seeing me

i think my heart is wrapped around

and tangled up in winding weeds

But i dont wanna go on living

being so afraid of showing

someone else my imperfections

and even though my feet

are tremblingand every word i say comes stumbling

i will bare it all...

watch me unfold

unfold

These hands that i hold

behind my back are bound and broken

by my own doing

and i can't feel

anything anymore

i need a touch to remind me

i'm still real

But i dont wanna go on living

being so afraid of showing

someone else my imperfections

and even though my feet

are trembling

and every word i say comes stumbling

i will bare it all...

watch me unfold

unfold

My soul

it's dying to be free you see..

i can't live the rest of my life

so guarded

it's dying to be free

it's up to me to choose...

what kind of life i lead

But i dont wanna go on living

being so afraid of showing

someone else my imperfections

and even though my feet

are trembling

and every word i say comes stumbling

i will bare it all...

watch me unfold

unfold

I will allow someone to love me

I will allow someone to love me.

The End Where I Begin ; The Script

Sometimes tears say all there is to say

Sometime your first scars wont ever fade, away

Tried to break my heart

Well it's broke

Tried to hang me high

Well I'm choked

Wanted rain on me

Well I'm soaked

Soaked to the skin

It's the end where I begin

It's the end where I begin

Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes

Sometimes we've no choice but to walk away, away

Tried to break my heart

Well it's broke

Tried to hang me high

Well I'm choked

Wanted rain on me

Well I'm soaked

Soaked to the skin

It's the end where I begin

It's the end where I begin

Now I'm alive

and my ghosts are gone

I've shed all the pain

I've been holding on

The cure for a heart

Is to move along, is to move along

So move along

X 3

What don't kill a heart

Only makes it strong

Sometimes tears say all there is to say

Sometime your first scars dont ever fade, away

Tried to break my heart

Well it's broke

Tried to hang me high

Well I'm choked

Wanted rain on me

Well I'm soaked

Soaked to the skin

It's the end

End where I begin

It's the end

End where I begin

Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes .

Sometimes we've no choice but to walk away, away .

Nice right. :))

I particularly lovelove the last 2 sentences.

& the other one above.

COOL. ;)

Yeah, anyway, I've gotta go alr, so Ciao! :)

Satisfaction for all.

"We cant satisfy everyone all the time."

Ever hear of this?

Oh, I guess some have aye.
I've told them countless times.
And now, I'm telling myself this. (-.-)
How ironic.
I dont think you were pissed with science.
You were pissed with me.
This is not a qn, but a statement.

To think that she thinks tht you're closer to me.

To think that she didnt ask the understanding person to help you.

To think that she asked me to help you.

I only have this to say :

Wow.

And well, I'm tired of it.

피로한.

And for the record, I'm SICK of it.

Thn again.

I forgot.

It's just because I'm stupid.