You only hear half of what I say.

Hey peeps ! :)

Todayyyy
Hmmm.
Slept at 1am in the morn.
HA.
Was talkin to mum again.
Whoops.
Was shaken awake by my dear mum.
At 9 plus.
o.o
Then after that.
Cleared some stuff in my room.
-sigh-
My table is still in a big mess.
Anyway.
Went to bball in the late afternoon.
Really strong sunshine.
o.o
In the end, go Yishun Park.
Hoho, I like siao zha bor like that, sit on the swing.
Then, that sickening Xavier keep pushing the swing.
ARGH.
I was talking to YT, then was cut off mid-sentence.

Me : Eheh, YT you know arh —— AHHHHHHHHHH !

Yeah.
People were like : This girl siao ar...
I'm like : Oh shit. o.o
I got upset, then I go walk around.
Then the rest go play cards. -.-
So I ended up sitting along the bench.
Who knew, I sat there, and became FOOD for the ants there. -.-
Kenna bite only.
BLEAH.
Got bored, then called parents to fetch me.
Then went to Causeway to have dinner.
Hahah, just nice met Yuwen there.
HAHA.
Then we had a chat.
Huh.
Waste our time only lar hor, twinnie? -.-
After that, walked somemore, then went homeeeeee.
Hurhur, maybe my Aunty, cousins they all coming tmr.
HEHE.
They want come for fried chicken wings.
LOL.
Hope they do. ((:
I miss my nieces ~ :B



Fine.
Maybe it's me that I told you this at the last minute.
But even so.
If you want to make noise, tell it STRAIGHT TO MY FACE.
Dont have to go and tell the others, idiot.
And why'd you have to blame other people?
Let me say this : It has nothing to do with YT.
Ha, let's not be shy in mentioning names.
Why in the world are you blaming her, when she particularly said, it was not because of that?
It's hilarious.
You jump to conclusions.
You didn't give me a chance to explain why.
CORRECTION.
You didn't ask, so I didn't say.
WhydoIevenneedtowastemybreatheonyou.
Yeah.
Fine.
But even if you DID ask, and I DID say, will you even sit down to listen?
NO.
I know you too well to know that.

You only hear half of what I say.

That was why I didn't bother to offer any reason why.
Okay, that, done, over, FINE.
Did your reaction have to be like that?
Oh, you know what?
WHATEVER.
Screw my birthday.
It seems every single problem now is caused by that.
Now I know, what type of person you really are.
At least, if you were so reluctant to do that, tell me.
Come straight to ME.
Dont have to go around poking your nose in to EVERY SINGLE SHIT and stabbing people.
Because of this, from a small molehill, it became a mountain of problems.

I could fight,

seek revenge,

but that's not who I am.

Just because I look like I turn a blind eye to everything, dont take for granted that I really am AN IDIOT.
I'd rather pretend, than make a big fuss out of it.
Haha.
How I miss last year.
There weren't problems like this at all.
Yes, there were hiccups, but through it all, we still made it.
But this year..
Things got more and more haywired.
Honestly, I raise a white flag already.

I will put my hands up, and SURRENDER.

I thought we were friends.
I thought we had that friendship going strong.
I thought we were all sincere.
I thought, after going through last year, we can pull through this year and years to come, regardless of class.
I really put myself into all our friendships.
But, it really seems to me, that these are just MY and MY thoughts only.
It seems to me, that these bonds, that some of us really put our souls into it, are really taken for granted.

And the worst part is,

before it gets, any better,
We're headed for a cliff,

Then in the freefall,

I will realise,
That I'm better off when I hit the bottom.

I'm starting to feel that way.
All I ever wanted was a simple , yet strong friendship.
I'm getting tired of all this.
We're supposed to be there for each other, yet, we drift further apart.
Where were those days, where we were by the "United we stand, divided we fall" slogan?
Where?
Down to the drain?
Ha.
Or, maybe, it was just me.
Maybe I expected too much from all this,
So after all, maybe, it was all my own fault.

Please, take my away from here.
Everything is never as it seems.
My dreams are bursting at its seams.

Jerk.

Hi people.
Sorry, longlong time nvr post.
Let's start from Friday.
FRIDAY
Let's just skip to after school.
Choir
*sigh*
Why is it so slacky?

You know, there's this Japanese show about a robot boyf thing?
I was watching the last episode that night.
The ending's really touching.
And I ended up crying.
And I couldn't stop.

SATURDAY
Tuition-ed.
Got quite pissed along the way..
Went home.
Did Art.

SUNDAY
I ended up finishing the whole art thing by Sunday 2am.
Cool eh.

TODAY
Pissed.
Really pissed.
Now, I mean.
Nothing much happened.
Apparently, Mrs Chew was in a pretty good mood, so cracked some jokes around.
I gotta admit, she's a pretty nice person.
Geez, did I just say she was nice?
Oh well.
Hehehs.


I'm still pissed.
Fine, so. stay. away. from. me.
I haven't been this pissed before.
So thankyou very much.

Ugh.
I feel disgusted.
Ugh.
I feel like I've just been slapped.
Ugh.
I feel like strangling someone.
Ugh.
I have a sickening headache.
Ugh.
I haven't cried like, really cry, in quite a while.

Just so you know, yes, I was crying.
And I havent the slightest idea why I'm crying over a jerk.
I've never felt so disappointed and fed up before.
You really put me off.
Thankyou, champion.
You're an idiot, you know that?

So you think I'm that sort of person who tells on people's secrets.
So you think I'm that sort of person who takes revenge.
So much for being a good friend to you, seriously.

Ha.
It's so downright hilarious.
You think I'll try to break you up.
WHY. THE. HELL WOULD. I. WANT. TO.
Fine, you think I'm that sort of person.
Hey, seriously, just SHUT THE HELL UP CAN.
It's not her fault, I said it before.
Crap.
Am I not obvious alr.
So i'm not a good friend to you.
Fine.
Please.
You make me haywire.
I can stay away from them, but I just want to know why.
I. CAN. NOT. UNDERSTAND. WHY. YOU'RE. DOING. THIS.
Neither can I understand why you want me to know last.

There's no valid reason anymore.
There's no sense anymore.
What are you really thinking, I dont know.
Why are you doing this to me, I also dont know.
I never wanted to get close to you, you know.

Why the hell would I want to.
Yet it happened.
YOU allowed it to happen.
It's also my choice whether I want to be vulgar anot.
It was never your business TO BEGIN WITH.
It's also my choice to choose who's my friends.
Not you.
It was never ever you.

Why the hell are you trying to control me now?
Haven't you got her to control?
Why do want to know who I like so much?
Why the heck doesn it matter so much?
You wouldn't even believe me if I said it.
Why are you being so difficult with me?

Oh.
I forgot.
I dont even mean a single thing to you.
Not even near a friend.
I. Hate. You.
You may not know me, but those who do will know I rarely use the word hate.
And this time.
I really do.
You make me really effing irritated.

Why?
Why are you doing this to me?
I'm so sick.
I hate this part, right here.
BACK OFF.

I really have had ENOUGH.
Enough is ENOUGH.
I dont believe you anymore.
I'm sick and tired of trying to make out what the heck you're thinking.
I'm also sick of trying to save this friendship.

Remember this.
YOU made the choice of letting it go.
Not me.
Dont ever regret your decision.

Can I say I hate you?

Hey people.
Damn, blogger's still being weird. (-.-)
Irritating.

Anyway.
Dailies, dailies. :)

YESTERDAY
Lit
YAY.
Skipped sehs. :))
We had this survey, and so it took quite sometime.
Okay, maybe..
We purposely, but geez, by the time we finished the survey we only had 10min left anyway.
Oh and, it was raining heavily.
And when I say heavily, it's really VERY VERY heavy.
PE
Rain-ed, so we went gym.
Did the backbone thingy.
Hmm, that machine doesn't train the backbone, but it trains the lower part of the muscles, somewhere near the spinal cord.
Hoho, I like that machine.
Dont ask me why.
^^
Then, went treadmill to run.
Hurhur, Sab went first.
She kept wanting to add the speed aye.
Then, she got tired, and we switched.
Hoho, I ran at a slower pace, but I ran longer.
:D
Yay.
I've got better stamina, but my speed still sucks ahh. ;B
Maths
Learnt Set Notation.
Dang, I can't exactly get it.
(-.-)
Recess
Stayed in class.
Hehehs, thn Qi&Wen came up to pei me.
(;
LOVES!
Hey, even YT came up earlier okay.
*smiles*
Yeah, kinda emo-ed.
It was a nice weather after all.
:))
Science
I dont know how much more disgusting this lesson can get. (-.-)
Geog
Blah.
English
Reader's Digest.

Choir
Yay.
(:

TODAY
Longggggggg honoring ceremony~
I dont want to elaborate anymore.

Tag Replies.
Yuwen: LOL.
Wilson: SHUDDAP.
Sam: I'm not his owner. He's my ah gong. Oh well.
Yuwen: Hohos, thanks for the spam.
Alfiah: Hey Alfiah. Thanks for the spam. :)


I dont feel good.
Please dont ask me if I'm okay.
I dont need that.
I know I'm not.
So yes.
I dont know who I am anymore.
I dont want to care.
I dont want to bother.
It's none of my business already.

See, no one believes me.
AGAIN.
For all that I've said, no one believes it.
See, no one knows me that well.
Sometimes, I need a friend.
And you cant take that away from me.
Idc if you do, really, I dont.


Oh.
Can I say I hate you?
Seriously.
Oh well.
Thanks ALOT.
For being a good friend.
Seriously, what the hell are you thinking?
You got a problem with me?
What the hell do you want from me?
Really, thanks ALOT.



Just so you know, It's MY choice.
And whatever I do, it's NOT your business.
BACKOFF.
I'm not a little girl who needs to be told what to do.
This is MY life.
Just hush.



I think I'm really Fortune's Fool.
Fate always plays with me.
Nothing seems to go well for long-term.
Something is ALWAYS bound to happen.
Everything is just slipping through my fingers like sand.
Damnit.
Someone, help?
It's not long before I snap.



I. Am. Really. Pissed.
"Life sucks, and then we die."
-Breaking Dawn.

If I Stay. Avalanche of tears.

Hey there! :)

Nameless Memory (무명 기억) - Heo Yong Saeng ; SS501
Eng Translation of this song. :) from the times we spent together, i pull you out from the times long ago.. the memories with you the past, nameless memories in the times i spent together with you, i was always alone our memories were precious but to me, nameless memories love.. remembers you memories.. remember me in that place,every day, now even the skies remember us the times with you, i think about keeping them all but they're all scars the nameless memories that have come in the empty space, yearning for you, i always waited for youthe past memories were precious but all that's left are nameless memories love.. remembers you memories.. remember me in that place, every day, now the skies remember usi gave you all of my love the times together with you in my memories my love, those long ago days will all become memories i loved you love.. remembers you memories.. remember me because i love you because i love you i always remember us love.. and memories now are memories with no mention of us ************************

I didnt take this song just coz it was from Yong Saeng of SS501.

HOHO.

I really like this song.

It's so..

Sentimental.

Fits me. :)

So.
Let's talk about today. :)

This morning was freaking WINDYYYYY~
Ohh, I loved the weather.
:D
But I had goosebumps.
Was feeling very chilly..
But I loved the feeling of it. =D
However, it rained, and it's VERY heavy.
Even though me & Sab took our brollies, some part of us still got drenched anyway.
LOL!

Lit
Freaking,irritating Dear Mr Yong gave us a test today.
(-.-)
Totally unexpected.
AND.
He said that if we get lesser than 7/10 for this test, we'll have to go for SRP.
I honestly dont mind going for SRP, but HELLO?!
On Friday?
If he doesn't have any CCA, most of us do.
GEEZ!

PE
Weewoot.
It was still raining at that time!
Hoho, so Mr Cheak showed us some vids on some volleyball matches.
Ohmytian.
The Brazillians ladies are really tall know.
Their avg height is all abt 1.8 cans.
(O.O)
Anw, aft that, we sat on the floor while trying to set the ball to our partners.
I partnered Sab, thn it was hilarious, know!
Guess what, the ball ended up in the BIN!
HOHO!
We were sitting near the bin, thn somehow, I setted a lil too far (HEHEHS!) , then it spun and ended in there.
XD

MATHS
Did practices.
Ah, today got Pythagora's Theorem test.
(-.-)
I know I 1 qtn wrong liao.
Bummer.
Besides that, the test is actually alright.

RECESS
Bought food, thn went piano area with Qi & Wen. :)
Went back class, and saw Sab emo-ing.
Turns out she was upset over some things.

CHEER UP, WOMAN! :))
SMILE. ^^

SCIENCE
I can't find a word to describe this.

GEOG
A decent lesson at last.
:D

ENG
Went through Reader's Digest. (again.)
Yeah.

Homed, hwk-ed.
Sat down and read finish If I Stay by Gayle Forman.
It's a really nice book.
Before I knew it, I was having an avalanche of tears streaming down my face.
Hahahs.
Bet ya people don't know I can be that watery aye. :)
Anyway, that book is seriously, really, veryveryvery nice. :)
It's about this girl, who got in to an accident.
In which her parents and her younger brother dies.
So she's the sole survivor.
However, she is comatose, and her "soul" is around, in the hospital, watching everything happening.

Now, she's left with 2 options.
1 - To give up, and leave behind her grandparents, boyfriend, best friend and her first true love, music and join her parents & brother.
2 - To fight on, and go back to her loved ones.

I particularly like this part, where her boyfriend (Adam) tells her things while she was still comatose, YET, Mia (the girl) has been watching every movement in the hospital.

'If you stay, I'll do whatever you want. I'll quit the band, go with you to New York. But if you need me to go away, I'll do that, too. I was talking to Liz and she said maybe coming back to your old life would be just too painful, that maybe it'd be easier for you to erase us. And that would suck, but I'd do it. I can lose you like that if I dont lost you today.
I'll let you go.
If you stay.'
Then it is Adam who lets go. His sobs bursts like fists pounding against tender flesh. "

Ain't it shweet?
Hahs.
But, I wasn't tearing over this part okay.
(;
It was this.

The tears fall onto my blanket, onto my freshly combed hair.
Gramps doesnt wipe his face or blow his nose.
He just let the tears fall where they may.
He looks like he's about to leave, but then he doubles back to my bedside, bends to his face is level with my ear, and whispers into it.
'It's okay,' he tells me.
'If you want to go. Everyone wants you to stay. I want you to stay more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.'
His voice cracks with emotion.
He stops, clears his throat, takes a breath, and continues.
'But that's what I want and I could see why it might not be waht you want. So I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It's okay if you have to leave us. It's okay if you want to stop fighting.'

There.
This one.
I cried like..
An open tap.
I dont knw, i mean, it's like, granting Mia the wish to leave, and find her parents and Teddy.
It's a really difficult decision to make.

What would YOU choose?