do you hear the words that I don't say?

so.. hello :)
heh. it's been like, 3 months since a proper blog post?
mianhae..

anyway.
honestly I'd been a wreck these few months. not like a crying mess but just a lot of emotional turmoil inside me. yes, I admit it's self inflicted but there's just too many things going on in my mind.

one too many times, he sneaks into my head.
I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate that I do this to myself..
I really want to be happy but every time I smile something holds me back. a happy memory with you comes a lot and there goes my smile.
some days, I'd be okay. I'd be able to not think about you. unless someone mentions you and my day goes downwards after. other days, I'd cry at night.

you'd probably think that the easiest option would be to confide in someone.

I tried.

but no one truly understands.

once I describe how he's like, good and bad, they would ask me, "Why would you like someone like him?"

how do I answer that?

With him, I don't even know what to call us. What was I to you? Was I even anything? Did I even matter? I don't know..

Especially people who know him; they would ask me that. probably because they saw how he treated me? I don't know. it was then that I realised I was the only one he showed his soft side.. that being said, I can't turn to my secondary school friends because they wouldn't be objective enough to listen.

I can't really turn to my poly friends too. some of them are attached, so they can't see things the way I do. The others have their own problems too.

The next person to approach Ms Jean. But even approaching her was difficult for me. I know I need help. But like I said, some days I'd feel okay to handle it, others I just.. I don't know.

At least I've always had my mum with me. But even then.. My mum knows everything. and yes I mean everything. she makes me confused. because sometimes I don't know who she supports me with. her answer would be: every guy would have their own points that I support. Geez. that helps. T-T which is why I don't want to turn to her because she keeps pushing me to other guys. If not, she suggests that I confess. aisht.. like that helps too.

I don't know if it's because I'm looking for someone who will say what I want to hear, because that is what it seems to me.

Think. Think. Think.
Think again.
Overthink. Over and over.
That's all I'd ever done. and I'm really tired.

That's why I turn to Kpop.
Immersing myself in music, hoping to find songs that can express what I wanted to.
Idolising someone, hoping that I'd be able to be like them or find someone like them.

Then comes my dream.
I've had a lot of dreams but all of them had disappeared once I hit sec 4, because instead of pursuing Arts Management, I got into Human Resources.
And yet with kpop, I've found my inspiration to do Artiste Management. You know, like be the manager of the idol groups. Or even be the backstage crew. Like for SBS, MBC or even Mnet.
My dream now is to study Artiste Management and hopefully be able to establish a career in Korea.
But somehow I can't seem to share my dream with others.
For a simple reason. Practicality.
I don't know if it's because my brain functions in such an abnormal way that people cannot see level with? Because I'm a dreamer?

I ever thought of even being a singer. but luckily I realised I wasn't made for the spotlight when I went for an audition. you can scroll down if you wish to read about it. I love the entertainment scene. so if I wasn't in the front line, being backstage is good too. I'm the secretary of VT and half the time I feel like I'm being a manager, checking that they go on to events on time, try to get gigs, see that they are doing okay in terms of musicality. Wouldn't you think that being a manager is at least more practical that that of being a singer? I do know where I stand.

But then also, there are people who comment on how I am, liking kpop, as if it's a sin.

Is it a sin to love music?

Kpop, Jpop, Mandopop, Country pop. It's all music, isn't it?
Should language separate what it is? Fangirling and music itself are 2 separate things. I just don't understand why are people so against kpop..
I've heard people tell me, "oh you faingirl too much, you should cut down on it. find a boyfriend" or "wow you like those pretty boys. they all look like sissies and they look the same" or even "ew you like that girl? that girl speaks plastic surgery."

I may sound a little overprotective regarding this issue, but who are YOU to comment how they are? we are all humans alike, right? so what's there to comment on? How would you like it if you were the one in their shoes? You're just trying to chase your dream of being a musician, but you have to be put down because of what the public thinks about appearances?

do you see how the world is like? it is so judgemental. no matter what you do, whether it concerns them or not, they will always comment. Even my dad comments..

I am honestly so sick of it.
I can't mope around.
I can't do what I want, loving music in my way.
I can't even chase my dreams.
I don't know how else I should be any more.

more often that not, I just wish to pack up and leave for somewhere quiet.
where I can be who I want to be.
where I can dream.
where I can lead a carefree life, just watching the sky pass.

I'm actually content and grateful for all that I have now, but I just want to be myself without having to adjust to what people feel is right.

Earlier on, I did a little research on what kind of a person I am.
Um, it turns out that I have 4 personality types..
oh what does psychology do to me..

1. INFJ - The Protector

2. INFP - The Idealist 

3. ISFJ - The Nurturers

4. ISFP - The Artists

Whatever's in red is what is very true for me. I guess the reason why I would have 4 is due to social monitoring? But I feel that the closest to what I feel is my personality would be the first one, INFJ.

I've changed.
Last November I took this test too, and I was just a ISFJ.
and now..?

The Protector

As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.

INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.

INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.

But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress. [I cannot emphasize how true this line is. My body fails me whenever something happens.]

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.

INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.

In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.

The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.
Cr: http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ.html
-

Another version would be this.

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging 

by Joe Butt
Profile: INFJ
Revision: 3.1
Date of Revision: 8 Aug 2010

Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.

INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.

"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.

INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.

Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.

Functional Analysis:

Introverted iNtuition
Introverted intuitives, INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes than all but their INTJ cousins. Just as SP types commune with the object and "live in the here and now" of the physical world, INFJs readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect. Their amazing ability to deduce the inner workings of the mind, will and emotions of others gives INFJs their reputation as prophets and seers. Unlike the confining, routinizing nature of introverted sensing, introverted intuition frees this type to act insightfully and spontaneously as unique solutions arise on an event by event basis.

Extraverted Feeling
Extraverted feeling, the auxiliary deciding function, expresses a range of emotion and opinions of, for and about people. INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals. This particular combination of introverted intuition and extraverted feeling provides INFJs with the raw material from which perceptive counselors are shaped.

Introverted Thinking
The INFJ's thinking is introverted, turned toward the subject. Perhaps it is when the INFJ's thinking function is operative that he is most aloof. A comrade might surmise that such detachment signals a disillusionment, that she has also been found lacking by the sardonic eye of this one who plumbs the depths of the human spirit. Experience suggests that such distancing is merely an indication that the seer is hard at work and focusing energy into this less efficient tertiary function.

Extraverted Sensing
INFJs are twice blessed with clarity of vision, both internal and external. Just as they possess inner vision which is drawn to the forms of the unconscious, they also have external sensing perception which readily takes hold of worldly objects. Sensing, however, is the weakest of the INFJ's arsenal and the most vulnerable. INFJs, like their fellow intuitives, may be so absorbed in intuitive perceiving that they become oblivious to physical reality. The INFJ under stress may fall prey to various forms of immediate gratification. Awareness of extraverted sensing is probably the source of the "SP wannabe" side of INFJs. Many yearn to live spontaneously; it's not uncommon for INFJ actors to take on an SP (often ESTP) role.

Famous INFJs:
Nathan, prophet of Israel
Aristophanes
Chaucer
Goethe
Robert Burns, Scottish poet
U.S. Presidents:
Martin Van Buren
James Earl "Jimmy" Carter
Nathaniel Hawthorne
Fanny Crosby, (blind) hymnist
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Fred McMurray (My Three Sons)
Shirley Temple Black, child actor, ambassador
Martin Luther King, Jr., civil rights leader, martyr
James Reston, newspaper reporter
Shirley MacLaine (Sweet Charity, ...)
Piers Anthony, author ("Xanth" series)
Michael Landon (Little House on the Prairie)
Tom Selleck
John Katz, critic, author
Paul Stookey (Peter, Paul and Mary)
U. S. Senator Carol Moseley-Braun (D-IL)
Billy Crystal
Garry Trudeau (Doonesbury)
Nelson Mandela
Mel Gibson
Carrie Fisher
Nicole Kidman
Jerry Seinfeld
Jamie Foxx
Sela Ward
Mark Harmon
Gary Dourdan
Marg Helgaberger
Evangeline Lilly
Tori May

Introverted iNtuiting Feeling Judging

by Marina Margaret Heiss
INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. [This is so true. Look at what I'm doing now.] Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.

Copyright © 1996-2013 by Marina Margaret Heiss and Joe Butt
Cr: http://www.typelogic.com/infj.html
-

I feel a need to know what I really am like, because I feel confused about whatever I feel. I feel that I'm constantly at war with myself because I can't decide what I want and feel.

I'm often with people but I always feel lonely and out of place. I really can't help it.
Have I been sad for so long that right now all that I feel is just numbness? 
What happened to me? I feel that this is such a drastic change.. I wasn't even this full of negative energy in sec 3. Maybe I was already changing even then, just that the circumstances just shaped me to who I am today. I'm not even negative,
I'm just.. sad(?).

I just want to be okay happy.

resolutions

STUPID LA, I wanted to change my blogskin.

Then there was some weird problem =.=

ANYWAY.

I have NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS.

My mum is saying it wont come true.

BUT WHATEVA.

I need aims.

Yessssss.

1. Single digit for L1R4/R5

2. BE MEANER!

3. Heckcare more!

4. Take more pictures :D

5. Be a better daughter.

6. Stop wondering WHY.

7. ...?

Hmm, I believe I'll come up with more. :D

Long time no see

HI PEOPLE.

HOHO, sorry for not updating.

I've been up to my neck with homework.

Seriously, it sucks to be me.

Bleah.

There's no hole in this shoe, just a big hole in this world.

Just because I don't say anything, it doesn't mean I don't feel anything.

Rude awakening

Went to Andrea Bocelli's concert @ Botanical Gardens yesterday!

Woots, met up at school at 3.

Rained heavily mannnnn. :/

So stopped over at Tanglin Mall.

Walked for quite a bit.

Then rain subsided, had to head over to Botanical Gardens :)

Was nearing Gleneagles when something happened.

There was this small road.

2 guys were carrying a panel of glass.

I was tempted to pass, but something stopped me.

So I let them pass.

All that followed was played in slow mo.

The guy at the back of glass sort of tripped.

The glass panel shattered into a million shards.

Me: Ohmygod!

The glass fragments flew in all directions.

I was er, inches away.

So, I was hit by the small pieces only.

The guy fell into the pieces of glasses.

Blood: Drip. Drip. Drip.

Me: O.O!

Ms Ang: *walks by* Hey, are all of you okay, anyone hurt?

Me&Nicole: Er.. No.

Ms Ang: Okay, Let's hurry along now.

Me: *stunned but moved along anyway*

Yes.

So, I'm still tramautised.

:/

The greatest impression was the blood part.

*shivers*

Yeah..

So made our way to Botanical Gardens anyway.

Had to walk quite a lot.

Oh well, it was long, but worth it nonetheless.

:)

We were given a goodie bag, a KFC meal and an ice-cream.

NICE right, but the chicken was pretty soggy and disgusting.

Ate it anyway, after all, it's free :)

HAHAHA.

Then enjoyed a performance by Rani Singam and Jeremy Monterio.

I like Rani Singam's voice.

Jazzzzzzz ! :D

The incident that happened earlier peeved me out, but then, Wip came, and it got my mind off certain things :)

Then the concert FINALLY started.

The ambiance was COOL i tell ya.

Night and darkkkkkk. And picnic style :))

Me, Nicole and Wip sat on Ms Ang's mat.

Hehehe, after all, Ms Ang's byf was like, sure, go ahead.

LOL.

Sabina Cvilak's voice is super POWERFUL EH !

I am inspired by her, Sarah Brightman and Delta Goodrem !

My mum is actually now encouraging me to be a classical singer in future.

Amazing but true know. LOL.

Oh well, might happen anyway :D

Yeah, so now, I've gotta gooooo!

Tataaa!

Tag replies!

Wilson: NICEEEEEEE.

Li En: Hahahah, I just realised that XD

Sabrina: Well, he IS Alice after all yeah.

Yuwen: BOO.

Xueqi: Hahaha, same to you too :)

Wilson: LOL, still okay la.

Sabrina: BOO.

Wip: Hahhaha, I get the point you're getting at. ;DDD

Yuwen: I know la ahehehe.

agNES: Hahaha, Alrighty, you too yeah :)

Li En: Okeahs! :)

ERMANDA : YEAH MAN ! :D

That incident has made me treasure people I love more.

It truly has snapped me awake.

I feel really lucky to not have been hit by any glass fragments.

Like the glass, life is oh-so fragile.

Like the man, life is imperfect.

Like the fact that I'm sitting here unhurt, it's how fate and God rules over you.

It's either they make it or break it.

Life is short.

Instead of wasting it away on picking on the trival matters, why not live it happily?

Paint with all the colours of the wind

Dont you agree with this?

Hello people. :)
I was planning on a lengthy post, but most of my time was spent refining my compo, so, ha, not much time left.

Anyway.

Let's see what happened in the past week..

Monday

Hmm, I forgot most of it, but had oral after school.

Hahahs, here's a picture of Nigel being so gayyyyy.

He's before me, so he was trying to whine.

Yup, it's not your eyes that's playing tricks on you.

It's really Nigel.

Oh well.

Tuesday

Seems I only remember the afterschool activities...

Oh well.

After school, went to the Life Science lab at level 4 to do our STP project.

Sabrina, Alfiah and I tried our best to rush, but..

We ended up being about 1/2 h late for SS extra lesson A.K.A SRP.

Thank god Ms Ong didnt scold us or anything..

Wednesday

Refer to previous post.

Thursday

Had NAPFA ~

Was raining, so shiok.

But just when we finished our Napfa test, the rain just got heavier.

Heavy to a point that there was lightning and thunder.

I could hear screams practically everywhere.

Please la, it's BROAD DAYLIGHT, not some horror flick at 12 Midnight.

Zzz.

Anyway, since it was so heavy, decided not to head home yet.

The wind was really strong aye.

So ended up slacking in 3E5 classroom.

Stayed for an hour plus lol.

The year before, it was 3 of you.

Last year, it was 3 of us.

This year, it's many of us.

So, I decided to take a bus home, cause the rain subsided only a little bit.

Sab walked home as it was nearby.

So, YT, me, Yonghao and Jeremy took 800.

Bused over to Northpoint.

Realised a familiar face on the bus, but I can't really put a finger on his name.

Hmm.

Anyway, most of the rain subsided already, so walked home without taking out brolly.

Hehehs.

Friday

HA HA HA.

Mr Cheak let us play volleyball.

"It's too slippery outside for you guys to run." He said.

Yessah.

Played with Sabrina and Alfiah's group.

Well, most of the time, it was a service game.

My aiming gets pretty bad after some time, god knows why.

Oh well.

After school

Went to RP.

Was nearly late.

Mr Elfie: Did you guys just fought?

Me: Huh?

Mr Elfie: Did you quarrel?

Me: No la. What makes you think so? o.o

Mr Elfie: Well, your face was pretty erm, black.

Me: o.o Really.

Huh.

Maybe I was having a black face, but that's from walking from Causeway Point to RP at a really really fast pace.

Anyway.

During the colloqium, I was really really tempted to sleep man.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, but got awaken by Sabrina.

Me: *closes eyes*

Sab: *whispers* NINA, dont sleep laaaaaa.

Me: *bleary-eyed* uhhhhhhhh. o.o

When I look at the screen, my mind was just blank.

I really could not understand what it was about.

The guy was talking about cutting and pasting the wings of different species of flies to each other.

Basically the idea was gross la.

So, I gave up trying to understand it.

LOL.

Throughout 2 talks, Alfiah was squeaking and squealing non-stop.

During the break, Suran, Sabrina, Alfiah and me stayed back in the lecture hall to take care of the bags.

Besides, we didnt want to go out.

Then Mr Elfie came back, and we started to crap.

Alfiah laughed her really high frequency laughter and Mr Elfie was like, watching in awe.

Just at the point, Suran pulled Alfiah's hair.

Alfiah screamed, and Mr Elfie said this: Well, that reminds me of what I used to do.

We simply stared at him.

Him: Yeah, we took the girl's rubberband and threw it. Who knew, it got caught with the fan, and hit the Physics teacher's forehead in turn.

Us: AHHHHHH, Physics teacher ah. *Idea*

Him: HEY, just coz I said Physics teacher doesn't mean you guys should to that to me ah.

Us: Muahahha.

(Y) right.

After the colloqium, headed home.

Walked midway, when it rained.

Wonderful, I loveeeeeeee walking in the rain. :)

Anyway, when we got to shelter, I saw Mr Elfie's hair, and I couldn't stop laughing afterwards.

Sabrina and Alfiah did too, and we all laughed like crap.

Dried ourselves a bit, then went in to MRT.

I got of at Yishun, while Sabrina and Alfiah stalked Mr Eflie.

Details at Sabrina's blog.

:)

Saturday

Tuition.

Hoho, Xuanye sat beside me.
Like Nigel, he whines.

He was arguing with Wayne, then somewhere along the line of "cheating my feelings" came out.

Hilarious man!

XD

Today

Homework, homework, homework.

What else?

Shall end with a quote from the book, The Colour Of Love by Preethi Nair.

The female lead in the book's called Nina.

:DDDDDD !

Nice right. :)

That's it.

Tataa~

Tag replies!

AT: Yup, OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! :D

Wip: Yeah, me too. There's an element of mystery in the word itself.

Wilson: LOL, Nahhhh. I dont like Selena Gomez. Ew. But her song's lyrics are nice.

Sabrina & Yuwen : This one can? :B

Muruku: Nah, thanks, but no thanks.

ELMO, Alfiah and Wilson: Nah, No worries, I WONT fall. :)

Sabrina: Lololol.

By the way, it's minutes to my dear Potato's birthday!

Happy birthday, darlin'! :DD

Loves yeah!

I promised myself.

Imma forget everything that happened.

Living in the past aint gonna change anything.

Whoever it is, I will forget, by hook or by crook.

Yes, those have been nice memories.

But, I will not allow myself to entangle the emotions behind it.

It will be like a silent replay.

No attached emotions.

Because it was never worth it.

Thought(s) of the day,

I wish to sing with all the voices of the mountains,

and paint with all the colours of the wind.

I am afraid, for every hello ends with a goodbye.

Hmm, seems this turned out to be a long post anyway.

:)

Presentation @ RP

Hello peopleeeeee.

Finally can sit down and post.

:D

Todayyyyyy

Went for Choir at 10am.

Only had an hour.

Sad man.

As much as I didn't want to leave, me, Sabrina, Alfiah and Lucretia had to leave for STP meeting with Mr Elfie.

Geez, had to do mini presentation in front of him.

Discussed for 1h + then was dismissed for lunch.

So, Alfiah, Sabrina, Suran and I went to Causeway Point for lunch.

Ha ha ha.

Was crapping around like nobody's business.

Sat around in KFC for awhile, then decided to eat at Mac instead.

Hohoho.

Apparently, Suran kept complaining on how slow Alfiah ate.

(Y)

Then went to Republic Poly.

Hohoho, on the way there, saw Jiaqi.

Ohmytians.

He's so tall already.

Towering over me.

Nice seeing you again yeah!

As always, Alfiah was trying to pretend she knew him.

Dragged her away. ;)

Then reached RP.

Was quite early.

Mr Sue was still pretty clueless about what was going on.

._.

OH well.

Then colloqium started.

Freaky lecture.

Wanted to copy notes, but the lady skipped by the slides so fast...

Zzz.

Then after that teabreak.

Crapping as usual.

Sabrina just got the hang of the game in her phone.

Hohoho!

After that, had to go into our respective lecture halls while Mr Elfie went for the Teachers' Workshop.

Then had presentation.

Dang, I think I screwed up.

-.-

Forget it, dont want to talk about it.

It was damn freaking cold in the lecture hall la.

My fingernails literally turned purpleeeee.

My hand was whiteeeeeee.

No blood lol.

It was THAT cold.

Ended earlier than expected, so went home.

Rained.

o.o

Took MRT with Sabrina.

Was discussing how NO LIFE our lives were.

Its so sad knowing how fast - paced out lives are, what with SO MANY activities for us.

Its like, we don't have a chance to STOP, BREATHE and think.

Of course, complaining won't help, and in time to come, we'll miss this life.

But ain't it passing to fast?

If we stop, we can't catch up.

But if we dont, we can't catch our breath.

It's not a winning situation for anyone..

Maybe I should participate in lesser activities..

Mine's already jam-packed.

What with Cantare III coming up this December and SYF next April.

Yeesh.

I think my holidays are filled already.

Sometimes, I feel so tired.

But, I have to keep pushing.

(PUSH, Sabrina, PUSHHHHHH! You know what I mean rightttt.)

But , well, it's not like these practices are bad, they're GOOD.

So, for a good cause, why not. :)

At least having something to do is better than not doing anything.

:)

Although, I think my singing skills drop already.

):

Zzz, for Choir must gambate!

:DDDD

Food for thought,

DID YOU KNOW,

that laughing can cure many things,

and one of them is killing the cancerous cells in your body!

Cool right. ;)

Ha ha haaaaa! ;D

Yes yes, must be happy. :D

Damn, maybe I should learn how to NOT deprive myself of happiness, I tend to do that often..

So, right.

HAPPY. :D

Tag replies!

Wilson: YOU STALKER. Thanks lol.

Sabrina: Me too..

W: Hahhaha! The fat boys very cute! Twiddle dee and dum ! XD

Xavier: LOL! I'm NOT emo la.

Alfiah: Hahahaha. I love you too. :)

Meiyuan: HELLO! :) Thanks, linked yeah!

AT: Hahha, yupppp.

Yuwen: Okay, relinked :)

OBSERVATION I had today:

_________________. :D Guess.

Thought of the day:

I'm wondering if I really miss you.

Maybe, I do.

But then again, maybe I dont.

:)

You know what.

Screw the being happy part.

The days go by.

Hello people.
I'm so sorry.
Havent been updating.
Hehehe.
Aiyah, I didnt know what to blog about what.
No worries, today got topic :)
Let's start from class outing then :D

31.12.09
Woots.
The last day of 2009 man.
Had class outing at Pasir Ris.
Ohmy, let's not go there next time again okay.
Unless we rent chalet.
:))
Anyhoo.
My last day of 2009.
Met e5 peeps at 10plus.
Obviously, there were people late.
The fabulous thing was, at 10, nobody was there.
Zzz.
Then took a really really LONG train ride over to Pasir Ris.
Didnt do anything much there.
Hahaha.
Basically I just sat down, and walked here and there.
I know, I'm so lazy you mei you.
AHEHEHE.
Blah.
Anyway.
Talked to the teachers while some went cycling or were playnig cards.
AND THEN.
Mr Cheak said he had to leave early.
THEN came the Flour.
It was a big big flour fight, LOL.
Hahaha, I was pretty clean yeah.
Partly because I didnt budge; I was just sitting down, and also because I didnt "attack" the teachers with flour like Alfiah did. :)
But I still kenna.
Flour and Green tea.
Weird combi, to think of it. -.-
Then after that, Mr Cheak and Ms Chew left.
Mr Chen disappeared and reappeared.
LOL.
Anyway, after the flour fight, everyone just slacked at the beach there.
Nice~
'Cause there was a nice breeze that day.
^^
After that, cleared up, then went back to Yishun.
Watched Alvin&TheChipmunks2 !
My parents said it wasn't so outstanding, but personally I still think that it's okayyyy. :)
I still love Theodore A LOT. :)
Yeaaaa, after the movie, went to slack around Northpoint till 10 plus.
:D
Yeaaaaa.

1.1.10 - 3.1.10
Was spent going all around Singapore to find my books.
According to Sabrina, it's a waste of time LOL.
Hahah.
But then again, I managed to get the majority of my books at Popular Jurong know..
So, wasnt really unneccesary lah. :))
Goodgood, bought some stationary too.
:D:D
Yeaaaaaa.

4.1.10 (TODAY!)
Woots.
Went to sch with Sabrina.
The first person both of us saw was MRS CHEW !!
Ohmyword.
Hohoho.
She looked very rushed.
LOL.
After that, went to the bookshop there find e5 peeps.
Was laughing like nobody's business mannnn!
Laughed even more as we went to the hall to find our class.
Hilarious man.
Anyhoo.
Had a pretty longgggggg assembly talk by Mr Row.
Honestly, I liked the talk.
Wasnt so strict.
But the personal bearing conditions got stricter ):
Super irritating.
Zzz.
Now cannot ankle socks.
Like whattheworld lar.
I remember when I was in sec 1, the requirement was : As long as the rim of the socks can be seen, it will be accepted.
And now, not even ankle socks !!
Jeez.
Anyway.
After assembly, went to our classrooms.
Woo. I like my classroom location!
It's DIRECTLY outside the AVA Room! :D:D
Supposedly Mr Chin put my class there coz he thinks we're the quietest class.
Er.
True or not, no comments lar har. ;)
Anyway.
Settled admin stuff.
Then, had to settle the class leader thingy.
Aiyah, I'm Intellectual CL.
-.-!!
Oh well.
It helps that Sabrina is Aesthetic CL.
Hehe.
But anyway.
We're like, OHMYGOD-ing at the same time.
Hoho.
Had to intro ourselves.
And ohmytians, Nigel said his hobby is to CROSSDRESS.
Like, omg ?!
FYI, Crossdressing is actually a man wearing ladies clothing.
O.o
Ew.
Then had recess.
We saw Shahirah and Yuwen outside class, and we were like squealing.
It actually felt like us not meeting for dont know how long liao.
But in reality, it's just a few hours.
I wonder how it'll be like next time. O.O
Argh.
Then, we went over to the 3e5 and 3e6 classrooms over at the 4th floor.
We were SCREAMING.
Hahaha.
Ms Ang still thought we stalk her.
XD
After that, we went down to our 2e5 classroom, which is currently 1e4 classroom.
We pretended we were going to the toilet.
Ohmyword, the sec1s are soooooo cute ! :p
Then went down for recess.
After recess, went back to class.
Zzz, only had one period till sch was done for the day lor.
Aiyaya..
Anyway, had ice-breaker games.
Then sch was DONE!
LOL.
Stayed back to help Cheryl hang the banners.
Then went to SSC buy uniform after that.
After that, went home.
And here I am :)

Tag replies!
To all who wished me Happy New Year: HAPPY NEW YEAR TOO :D
To all who voted for cbox or shoutmix: I'm keeping BOTH :))

Alrighty then.
I've gotta go now.
Byebye!