too much

Annyeong yeoreobun!

I shall update properly today!
So far it's been songs and I've been keeping too much inside me.

But first and foremost,
Happy Valentines Day! ^^

 

 

 

 

I hope you feel the love hehe.

So anyway.
Back to topic.
Yesterday, I was having a H2H talk with a friend.
And I ended up talking about the past.
... Again.
The feelings that I tried so hard to chuck one side for the past year just came back so easily.
Maybe I am not that strong at all..?
I don't know.
I won't lie, he creeps into my mind now and then.
The worst part is, I can't keep him out at all.
Whenever I think about it, it just hurts so much.
It hurts so much that it stuns me to silence.
So I poured my heart out to this friend yesterday, something I haven't done in quite awhile.
Starting from the beginning.
It's so easy to remember the good, but the same applies to the worst..
나는 진짜 바보 니까..

Sometimes, I'd read back my old posts..
Something stupid I guess.
I guess you can call me a sadist, because I'd relieve the moment.
Good or bad.
2009 was really my turning year.
People who know me now would probably think that I'm sarcastic, mean, cold and even unfeeling.
But people who have known me beforehand would be able to tell that I had a 360 change.
I used to be meek, really really cheerful and all.
I guess, if you read my older posts, you'd be able to tell how I used to be.
I'll say this: I'll probably never be able to forget him.
Until the one comes along I guess.
Because honestly, whenever people ask me, "Nina, what's your story?" these days, the first person I thought of was him.
For someone who gave me so much to remember, he gave me much pain as well.
Too much, in fact.

I remember confidently saying that I was over him then.
Of course, what a liar I was.
My best friends would say that they believe me, but I know that they don't.
I guess you can say that I was too much of an open book.
Nonetheless, I still tried to hide my feelings.
As obvious as it was, the only person I managed to hide from was him.
Maybe also because he was the one who doesn't know or as I'd like to think, the one who pretended he doesn't know.

The songs that I listen to these days don't help too...
I was a sentimental person to begin with.
As unbelievable as it can be, yes, I actually cry easily.
Lyrics, the singer's voice tone and the memories.
Yes, even the singer's tone affects me.
Voices like Kyuhyun can affect me easily.
There's more, but you get the idea, right?
I get distracted easily, but when I'm alone again, and I hear songs that touch my heart then the whole cycle repeats again.

I hate it.
I hate being so weak.
I hate crying.
Irony, isn't it?
Considering how I cry easily.
But alas, I'm still human after all.

But really.
Can you blame me?
You left so many questions unanswered.
And when I tried to ask you, you chose to say that you forgot.
How convenient.
But I know you too well.
You always say one but mean another.
You yourself told me that.
Yes, I remember.
How could I not?
4 years all my life, and you were in my thoughts half the time; me trying to figure you out.
So many times I wondered to myself, what did I do wrong?
Why did you push me away?
Why did you do the things you did?
Please don't bloody tell me it's for my own  good, because those are just excuses.
I'm sick of everyone telling me, it's for my sake.
Because it bloody well isn't.
Are you blind to see how much pain I went through?
Oh wait, maybe you are.
I really~ don't know what you're thinking.
I picked up lying from him.
Haha.
The expert of lies.
I know that you hide things from me.
You can call me oversensitive, but yes I know.
But.. why?

 

I never had a say in anything.
I realise the whole problem was being so close.
I never wanted to get close to you.
I never wanted you to push me away.
I never meant for any of this to happen.
They say, things happen for a reason.
But wouldn't it be nice if the reason could be known for once?

don't forget me, i beg

Lately, I've been listening to Demi Lovato A LOT.
lots of feeling-relating thingy. sigh.
finally, o levels are gonna end next tuesday!
OMG I CAN'T WAIT LA.
after that, there's prom!
Teehee.
Pretty much prepared already (OKAY I KNOW I'M KIASU).
Played with make-up today.
Tiring.
hate the removal part because it's so troublesome!
hehe played with my hair too!
now my hair's HALF set and HALF straight coz my mum was lazy to continue.
it's pretty in a mess now.
but i like it.
>:)
I'm gonna have curly hair!
:DDDDDD
so happy lol.
ahhhhhhh wait.
gotta tone down.
os not finished yet.
soon, soon.

anyway.
been looking at older posts too.
just realised i'm really a horrible nerd.
seems i just can't escape from studying eh.
I see the word "study" so many times-it's really unbelievable.
seriously.
it's kinda painful reading them anyway.
so much has changed within these 2 years.
friends have changed.
or was it me?
i dont know, really.
some, we've grown really distant even though we're so close.
others, we've been so far apart, and yet when we start talking it's as if nothing changed. which is pretty true.
but it's quite sad, thinking of it.
grr, what makes it worse is how i wrote all of it down.
it's all so vivid.
i can visualise it as if it was just yesterday.
i'm sorry, i just can't continue anymore.

don't forget me, i beg.

i remember, you said,

"nevermind, i'll find someone like you."

I wish nothing but the best, for you too.

dont forget me, i beg.

i remember, you said,

"sometimes, it lasts in love, but sometimes, it hurts instead."

Fly with the wind

I like dandelions, dont you?

I like how it flies so lightly with the breeze.

So carefree..

Hey people.

Yessssss, I'm finally posting.

Heheh.

So much has happened.

Let's start from last week. :)

Saturday

NYJC Choir @ VCH.

Wooooooo !

I LOVE the guy acting as the Beast's voice man :D

Very round tone :D

Also, I enjoyed crapping with whoever was there.

Esp Yeechin aye ;)

Hahaha.

Wednesday

Heats for Dragonboating.

HEYHEY, dragonboating is FUN :D

Tiring, but fun nonetheless.

:)

Yupyup.

Although, I have no inkling why the school wants to put the sports carnival at such a FAR place.

._.

Transport so confusing some more.

Tsktsk.

But anyway.

We barely made into finals LOL.

5th.

Lucky though.

Thursday

Actual Sports Day.

Woke up pretty early..

Had muscle ache from previous day.

:/

Besides, my thumb is a bit swollen.

Probably jammed my hand too hard to the paddle.

Hahahah.

Got worse after the competition LOL.

Anyway.

Reached there pretty early.

Our class became pinkies LOL.

Pretty easy to spot. ;D

Yups, then sec 4s started their races first.

Was discussing strategy LOL.

Then was our turn to roll. :)

And...

We got 2nd :D

Woots, GREAT JOB PEOPLE. :DDDD

Then had 2 Golds for Kayaking.

YAY :))

In happiness, AJ, who was sitting in front of me, splashed water in my face.

LOL ;)

So, ended up VERY VERY wet.

Heng got bring extra cloths :)

Anyway, we werent given time to change, so had to run while being wet.

:/

The run was just really very long.

._. Though amazingly, I still got a position for X-country.

Better than last year.

^^

Hehehe.

Lunched with Yuwen, Xueqi, Hanyi, Joan, Madeleine, Xavier, Wilson, Hazzry and Jeremy.

Was really tired though.

Then bused home around 3+.

So damn hot lah please.

=.=

Yuwen and I wanted to sleep in the bus, but we ended up sweating, so ended up not sleeping much anyway.

Was touchy when I woke though.

HOT.

Then walked home.

Today

PTM!

When I left the house, my parents were asking me if they should go or not.

LOL.

I told them to make a choice themselves, then ring me when they've come to a decision.

So went to school anyway.

Couldn't take my result slip first anyway. ._.

After that, my dad FINALLY told me to meet them somewhere else.

Took result slip back.

FINALLY.

I just realised something.

I DID PASS PHYSICS OVERALL.

50 MAN !

YESSAH. :DDDDDDDDD !

So far, mustmustmust buck up on Physics the most.

Then the rest must keep consistent. :/

Quite okay with my results, except for Physics of course.

._.

Anyway, went Chong Pang after PTM.

Went home early, since I wasnt feeling well.

Yup.

That's about all.

Toodles.

Tag Replies !

W : Yeah man..

Yuwen : Hey darling :)

Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now.

You taught me how to lie.

Because, it's easier than telling the truth.

Rude awakening

Went to Andrea Bocelli's concert @ Botanical Gardens yesterday!

Woots, met up at school at 3.

Rained heavily mannnnn. :/

So stopped over at Tanglin Mall.

Walked for quite a bit.

Then rain subsided, had to head over to Botanical Gardens :)

Was nearing Gleneagles when something happened.

There was this small road.

2 guys were carrying a panel of glass.

I was tempted to pass, but something stopped me.

So I let them pass.

All that followed was played in slow mo.

The guy at the back of glass sort of tripped.

The glass panel shattered into a million shards.

Me: Ohmygod!

The glass fragments flew in all directions.

I was er, inches away.

So, I was hit by the small pieces only.

The guy fell into the pieces of glasses.

Blood: Drip. Drip. Drip.

Me: O.O!

Ms Ang: *walks by* Hey, are all of you okay, anyone hurt?

Me&Nicole: Er.. No.

Ms Ang: Okay, Let's hurry along now.

Me: *stunned but moved along anyway*

Yes.

So, I'm still tramautised.

:/

The greatest impression was the blood part.

*shivers*

Yeah..

So made our way to Botanical Gardens anyway.

Had to walk quite a lot.

Oh well, it was long, but worth it nonetheless.

:)

We were given a goodie bag, a KFC meal and an ice-cream.

NICE right, but the chicken was pretty soggy and disgusting.

Ate it anyway, after all, it's free :)

HAHAHA.

Then enjoyed a performance by Rani Singam and Jeremy Monterio.

I like Rani Singam's voice.

Jazzzzzzz ! :D

The incident that happened earlier peeved me out, but then, Wip came, and it got my mind off certain things :)

Then the concert FINALLY started.

The ambiance was COOL i tell ya.

Night and darkkkkkk. And picnic style :))

Me, Nicole and Wip sat on Ms Ang's mat.

Hehehe, after all, Ms Ang's byf was like, sure, go ahead.

LOL.

Sabina Cvilak's voice is super POWERFUL EH !

I am inspired by her, Sarah Brightman and Delta Goodrem !

My mum is actually now encouraging me to be a classical singer in future.

Amazing but true know. LOL.

Oh well, might happen anyway :D

Yeah, so now, I've gotta gooooo!

Tataaa!

Tag replies!

Wilson: NICEEEEEEE.

Li En: Hahahah, I just realised that XD

Sabrina: Well, he IS Alice after all yeah.

Yuwen: BOO.

Xueqi: Hahaha, same to you too :)

Wilson: LOL, still okay la.

Sabrina: BOO.

Wip: Hahhaha, I get the point you're getting at. ;DDD

Yuwen: I know la ahehehe.

agNES: Hahaha, Alrighty, you too yeah :)

Li En: Okeahs! :)

ERMANDA : YEAH MAN ! :D

That incident has made me treasure people I love more.

It truly has snapped me awake.

I feel really lucky to not have been hit by any glass fragments.

Like the glass, life is oh-so fragile.

Like the man, life is imperfect.

Like the fact that I'm sitting here unhurt, it's how fate and God rules over you.

It's either they make it or break it.

Life is short.

Instead of wasting it away on picking on the trival matters, why not live it happily?

Paint with all the colours of the wind

Dont you agree with this?

Hello people. :)
I was planning on a lengthy post, but most of my time was spent refining my compo, so, ha, not much time left.

Anyway.

Let's see what happened in the past week..

Monday

Hmm, I forgot most of it, but had oral after school.

Hahahs, here's a picture of Nigel being so gayyyyy.

He's before me, so he was trying to whine.

Yup, it's not your eyes that's playing tricks on you.

It's really Nigel.

Oh well.

Tuesday

Seems I only remember the afterschool activities...

Oh well.

After school, went to the Life Science lab at level 4 to do our STP project.

Sabrina, Alfiah and I tried our best to rush, but..

We ended up being about 1/2 h late for SS extra lesson A.K.A SRP.

Thank god Ms Ong didnt scold us or anything..

Wednesday

Refer to previous post.

Thursday

Had NAPFA ~

Was raining, so shiok.

But just when we finished our Napfa test, the rain just got heavier.

Heavy to a point that there was lightning and thunder.

I could hear screams practically everywhere.

Please la, it's BROAD DAYLIGHT, not some horror flick at 12 Midnight.

Zzz.

Anyway, since it was so heavy, decided not to head home yet.

The wind was really strong aye.

So ended up slacking in 3E5 classroom.

Stayed for an hour plus lol.

The year before, it was 3 of you.

Last year, it was 3 of us.

This year, it's many of us.

So, I decided to take a bus home, cause the rain subsided only a little bit.

Sab walked home as it was nearby.

So, YT, me, Yonghao and Jeremy took 800.

Bused over to Northpoint.

Realised a familiar face on the bus, but I can't really put a finger on his name.

Hmm.

Anyway, most of the rain subsided already, so walked home without taking out brolly.

Hehehs.

Friday

HA HA HA.

Mr Cheak let us play volleyball.

"It's too slippery outside for you guys to run." He said.

Yessah.

Played with Sabrina and Alfiah's group.

Well, most of the time, it was a service game.

My aiming gets pretty bad after some time, god knows why.

Oh well.

After school

Went to RP.

Was nearly late.

Mr Elfie: Did you guys just fought?

Me: Huh?

Mr Elfie: Did you quarrel?

Me: No la. What makes you think so? o.o

Mr Elfie: Well, your face was pretty erm, black.

Me: o.o Really.

Huh.

Maybe I was having a black face, but that's from walking from Causeway Point to RP at a really really fast pace.

Anyway.

During the colloqium, I was really really tempted to sleep man.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, but got awaken by Sabrina.

Me: *closes eyes*

Sab: *whispers* NINA, dont sleep laaaaaa.

Me: *bleary-eyed* uhhhhhhhh. o.o

When I look at the screen, my mind was just blank.

I really could not understand what it was about.

The guy was talking about cutting and pasting the wings of different species of flies to each other.

Basically the idea was gross la.

So, I gave up trying to understand it.

LOL.

Throughout 2 talks, Alfiah was squeaking and squealing non-stop.

During the break, Suran, Sabrina, Alfiah and me stayed back in the lecture hall to take care of the bags.

Besides, we didnt want to go out.

Then Mr Elfie came back, and we started to crap.

Alfiah laughed her really high frequency laughter and Mr Elfie was like, watching in awe.

Just at the point, Suran pulled Alfiah's hair.

Alfiah screamed, and Mr Elfie said this: Well, that reminds me of what I used to do.

We simply stared at him.

Him: Yeah, we took the girl's rubberband and threw it. Who knew, it got caught with the fan, and hit the Physics teacher's forehead in turn.

Us: AHHHHHH, Physics teacher ah. *Idea*

Him: HEY, just coz I said Physics teacher doesn't mean you guys should to that to me ah.

Us: Muahahha.

(Y) right.

After the colloqium, headed home.

Walked midway, when it rained.

Wonderful, I loveeeeeeee walking in the rain. :)

Anyway, when we got to shelter, I saw Mr Elfie's hair, and I couldn't stop laughing afterwards.

Sabrina and Alfiah did too, and we all laughed like crap.

Dried ourselves a bit, then went in to MRT.

I got of at Yishun, while Sabrina and Alfiah stalked Mr Eflie.

Details at Sabrina's blog.

:)

Saturday

Tuition.

Hoho, Xuanye sat beside me.
Like Nigel, he whines.

He was arguing with Wayne, then somewhere along the line of "cheating my feelings" came out.

Hilarious man!

XD

Today

Homework, homework, homework.

What else?

Shall end with a quote from the book, The Colour Of Love by Preethi Nair.

The female lead in the book's called Nina.

:DDDDDD !

Nice right. :)

That's it.

Tataa~

Tag replies!

AT: Yup, OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! :D

Wip: Yeah, me too. There's an element of mystery in the word itself.

Wilson: LOL, Nahhhh. I dont like Selena Gomez. Ew. But her song's lyrics are nice.

Sabrina & Yuwen : This one can? :B

Muruku: Nah, thanks, but no thanks.

ELMO, Alfiah and Wilson: Nah, No worries, I WONT fall. :)

Sabrina: Lololol.

By the way, it's minutes to my dear Potato's birthday!

Happy birthday, darlin'! :DD

Loves yeah!

I promised myself.

Imma forget everything that happened.

Living in the past aint gonna change anything.

Whoever it is, I will forget, by hook or by crook.

Yes, those have been nice memories.

But, I will not allow myself to entangle the emotions behind it.

It will be like a silent replay.

No attached emotions.

Because it was never worth it.

Thought(s) of the day,

I wish to sing with all the voices of the mountains,

and paint with all the colours of the wind.

I am afraid, for every hello ends with a goodbye.

Hmm, seems this turned out to be a long post anyway.

:)

Saddening

Hey people.
I've been reading past posts.
I've been looking at past pictures.
Had a great deal of time laughing like shit, and a great deal of time reminiscing.
Hahahah, didnt really realise I was that, um, RASH with words.
Yesssss, I should mellow down yeah.
But then again, I ENJOY reading my angry posts.
Entertaining.
And a lot of it made sense.
That's scary.
I was trying to find a fault in those posts.
I was also trying to see if I was even in the right state of mind.
Apparently, I was.
It made too much sense.
Damn.
My mum thinks I'm too rational.
Yes, I am, but she hasnt seen the really irrational and impulsive side of me.
Oh well.
I guess that day will come soon.
Soon to explode.
:o
Hmm, anyway.
I feel I have matured (if not much, at least a LITTLE) .
2009 was a pretty fruitful year for me, though, it was pretty rocky, and it was pretty much off to a bad start.
But, oh well.
Everyone has their own down moments yeah.

I've really learnt a lot last year.

Yes, I miss it.
But no point dwelling on it so much yeah..
What's important is NOW.
So, go, Nina, let go of the past, and move on.
The memories will ALWAYS be yours.
And so, continue making more memories, for yourself.
Yes, maybe I should be more optimistic.
:)
Though I must say, every little memory seems like it was just yesterday.
Especially that darkdarkdark time.
It's just so fresh and vivid and fresh in my mind.
Oh well.
It's 2010 alr, Nina, not 2009.
Wake upppppppp!
Yesyes.

I'm happy.
Because :
- There's no test next week. :D
- There's only 4 days of studying ! :)
- 2 more weeks till my phone contract ends :DDDDD
- 1 more week till HOLIDAY.

So yeah.
Stuff to look forward to.
:)
April's gna be interesting !
Got performance.
YAY. :D
Okay then.
Tataa for now.

Thought of the day;

Let go of the past, Nina.

Dont live in the past, it cannot happen every again.

Relieve it, but it alas, it will only be a memory.

Tried to say goodbye and I choke,

tried to walk away and I stumble.

Though I try to hide it, it's clear,

that my world crumbles when you're not here.

I'm hanging, I am.

HELLO people. :)
Woots.
I'm posting again.
Hmm.
Brief description over these few days.

Mon - Thurs (excluding Tues)
TID
Woots.
Some classes are like, really good.
But, ugh, with every flaw, there will be a weakness.
Some classes very attitude uh..
Zzz.

Friday
Cca Open House ! :D
Woots.
Though, somehow, I feel it's very short.
BUT, when we sing, it feels like forever.
o.o
And, it's really hard to project what with the noise the other CCAs are making...
I was practically on the verge of losing my voice.
But I didnt anyway. ^^
Yessah.
Somemore, sing Triple One.
Sharp somemore. -.-
And, some people want join sop1 hor..
Zzz.
Anyway.
Sing, sang, sung.
Hope many many people join Choir, and show Mr Chin how good we are.
I desperately think we need to prove to Mr Chin we CAN do it luh.
Argh.
This is one thing I am determined about.
Yes.
So AIChoir.
Jiayous. :)

Yesh..
Today.
Tuition.
ARGH.
It's confusing..
Zzzzzzz!!!
After that, went to 3rd uncle's house.
Then, go eat at Ayer Rajah there.
NICE man.
Then came home.
And here I am.

Tag replies !
Cbox
W: True..
Wilson: Thanks. LOL.
EL NINO: Yes, I agree. Somehow..
Agnes: Hello AGNES! :))
Sabrina: YO! Hahhaa, Good lar. :)
Xueqi: I'm hanging, I am. *I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing* (Think Breakeven ; The Script) ;)

Shoutmix
Wip: Hmms, I will try. :))
EL NINO: Hahaha, but I thought class blog updated? LOL.

Yeah.
I'm done.
Gotta go.
Tataa.

Elaborated post! (:

Yoyoyo people. :]
I'm back again with post.
WOOTS.
Ah, yes..

The performance.
Personally, I think this performance was a lot a lot better than last week's.
Phew.
And the best thing was, we could be heard!
Regardless of the bands across the street ! :D
Weeeeee~
I feel happy.
My mum said, this time, our choir sounded MORE like a church choir instead.
LOL.
Though, erm, halfway through the performance, I very suay..
Other people's christmas hat didnt drop, mines did.
BAH.
Anyway.
I saw Wayne! :D
Hohos.
Went to kacau him after performance.
^^
Wahaha.
Walked around for a little while, then went back with Sab and Alfiah.

Yesterday
Went back to school to settle CCA open house thing..
Then came home, ate lunch, and slept for 3 hours. :D
Wonderful, ain't it. :D

Today
I woke up late again.
HOHO.
After all, I did eat medicine..
HEHES.
Anyway.
Ugh, I did a LITLLE of maths.
Gotta finish it tmr!
Jiayou nina.

Oh yes.
I also want to dedicate this post to Tan Wiphaporn. :)
We've known each other for 2 years.
You've taught me many things.
And for that, I thank you bucketloads. :)
Also, you're a really wonderful and sweet person.
I remember, when I fell down, you'd rush to me with worry in your eyes, and ask if
I'm fine.
You're really like a big sister to me yeah. :)
So yeah, I love you, Wip! ^^
Take care.
And I'll miss singing with you~

Anyway.
Before I finish.

Tag Replies!
Wilson: Er.. -.-
Sabrina: Lol..
Elmo2: O.O
ELMO: Hahhas.
Sabrina: O.o?
Yuwen: YAY! :D
Elmo2: Yesyes, enough, very long liao. o.o
Sabrina: -.-

Yes, I'm finally done.
Tataa, people.
And, it's Christmas in 13 min! :)

Merry Christmas in advance! ;)

Thought of the day:

I need to improve my body resistance.

Unreachable for the next four days ~

Yoyoyoyoyo ~

We're all hiding our emotions behind masks .

Hohohohohoho!
It's TOMORROW !
Hmm.
I dont think I can fall asleep early anyway.
THOUGH, my mum wants me to turn in NOW.
Bleah ~
Anyways !

Todayyyy
Yuwen came over to talk about the project stuff.
But, like any other project meetings, we ended up gossiping.
(._.)
Bleah.
No, maybe gossiping was an understatement.
We were talking about personal matters.
Bleah.
Yuwen, it got you thinking right.
Anyway.
About me.
I will.
Ugh.
Damn, my mum's hurrying me alr.
OKAY.
I've to go.

Tag Replies .
Sabrina: Oh well, that's US. HOHO.
Wilson: Hahahas.
ELMO: What emo? O.O
Yuwen: Yea. :)
Dion: Yes, DA JIE FU ? :DD

Okays.
I'll be back soon.
Oh, DO continue tagging. :))
Tataa, Au Revoir ~

Would you feel the difference ?