emotions are getting the better of me.

i was hanging out at wip's blog.
i just realised I haven't talked to wip and nicole like, properly, in a very very long time.
hais. :(
this year, i think i've broken my resolution of not crying so much.
because, i really cried a lot.
gosh, wheres the strong brave girl who has confidence and the never say die attitude?
wheres the ironlady?
my emotions are all getting the better of me.
my life is so...
i dont know.
these days, i'm starting to be more and more melanchonic.

sometimes, its just so hard to even smile.
sometimes, its just so hard to be positive.
sometimes, its just so hard.

when will i really be strong again?
my defenses are all breaking through the holes.

i've never been good with the affairs of the heart.
but the questions never stops coming.
raising curiousity?
doubts?
i dont know anymore.
i'd love to say i dont care over and over, but i realise at the end of the day, i still do.

Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love,

the things you are,

and the things you never want to lose.

but is it right of me to remember everything?
the good, and even the bad?

7-8 more months left.
i've got to do this.
its what i want, what i need, and what i have to do.

Paint with all the colours of the wind

Dont you agree with this?

Hello people. :)
I was planning on a lengthy post, but most of my time was spent refining my compo, so, ha, not much time left.

Anyway.

Let's see what happened in the past week..

Monday

Hmm, I forgot most of it, but had oral after school.

Hahahs, here's a picture of Nigel being so gayyyyy.

He's before me, so he was trying to whine.

Yup, it's not your eyes that's playing tricks on you.

It's really Nigel.

Oh well.

Tuesday

Seems I only remember the afterschool activities...

Oh well.

After school, went to the Life Science lab at level 4 to do our STP project.

Sabrina, Alfiah and I tried our best to rush, but..

We ended up being about 1/2 h late for SS extra lesson A.K.A SRP.

Thank god Ms Ong didnt scold us or anything..

Wednesday

Refer to previous post.

Thursday

Had NAPFA ~

Was raining, so shiok.

But just when we finished our Napfa test, the rain just got heavier.

Heavy to a point that there was lightning and thunder.

I could hear screams practically everywhere.

Please la, it's BROAD DAYLIGHT, not some horror flick at 12 Midnight.

Zzz.

Anyway, since it was so heavy, decided not to head home yet.

The wind was really strong aye.

So ended up slacking in 3E5 classroom.

Stayed for an hour plus lol.

The year before, it was 3 of you.

Last year, it was 3 of us.

This year, it's many of us.

So, I decided to take a bus home, cause the rain subsided only a little bit.

Sab walked home as it was nearby.

So, YT, me, Yonghao and Jeremy took 800.

Bused over to Northpoint.

Realised a familiar face on the bus, but I can't really put a finger on his name.

Hmm.

Anyway, most of the rain subsided already, so walked home without taking out brolly.

Hehehs.

Friday

HA HA HA.

Mr Cheak let us play volleyball.

"It's too slippery outside for you guys to run." He said.

Yessah.

Played with Sabrina and Alfiah's group.

Well, most of the time, it was a service game.

My aiming gets pretty bad after some time, god knows why.

Oh well.

After school

Went to RP.

Was nearly late.

Mr Elfie: Did you guys just fought?

Me: Huh?

Mr Elfie: Did you quarrel?

Me: No la. What makes you think so? o.o

Mr Elfie: Well, your face was pretty erm, black.

Me: o.o Really.

Huh.

Maybe I was having a black face, but that's from walking from Causeway Point to RP at a really really fast pace.

Anyway.

During the colloqium, I was really really tempted to sleep man.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, but got awaken by Sabrina.

Me: *closes eyes*

Sab: *whispers* NINA, dont sleep laaaaaa.

Me: *bleary-eyed* uhhhhhhhh. o.o

When I look at the screen, my mind was just blank.

I really could not understand what it was about.

The guy was talking about cutting and pasting the wings of different species of flies to each other.

Basically the idea was gross la.

So, I gave up trying to understand it.

LOL.

Throughout 2 talks, Alfiah was squeaking and squealing non-stop.

During the break, Suran, Sabrina, Alfiah and me stayed back in the lecture hall to take care of the bags.

Besides, we didnt want to go out.

Then Mr Elfie came back, and we started to crap.

Alfiah laughed her really high frequency laughter and Mr Elfie was like, watching in awe.

Just at the point, Suran pulled Alfiah's hair.

Alfiah screamed, and Mr Elfie said this: Well, that reminds me of what I used to do.

We simply stared at him.

Him: Yeah, we took the girl's rubberband and threw it. Who knew, it got caught with the fan, and hit the Physics teacher's forehead in turn.

Us: AHHHHHH, Physics teacher ah. *Idea*

Him: HEY, just coz I said Physics teacher doesn't mean you guys should to that to me ah.

Us: Muahahha.

(Y) right.

After the colloqium, headed home.

Walked midway, when it rained.

Wonderful, I loveeeeeeee walking in the rain. :)

Anyway, when we got to shelter, I saw Mr Elfie's hair, and I couldn't stop laughing afterwards.

Sabrina and Alfiah did too, and we all laughed like crap.

Dried ourselves a bit, then went in to MRT.

I got of at Yishun, while Sabrina and Alfiah stalked Mr Eflie.

Details at Sabrina's blog.

:)

Saturday

Tuition.

Hoho, Xuanye sat beside me.
Like Nigel, he whines.

He was arguing with Wayne, then somewhere along the line of "cheating my feelings" came out.

Hilarious man!

XD

Today

Homework, homework, homework.

What else?

Shall end with a quote from the book, The Colour Of Love by Preethi Nair.

The female lead in the book's called Nina.

:DDDDDD !

Nice right. :)

That's it.

Tataa~

Tag replies!

AT: Yup, OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! :D

Wip: Yeah, me too. There's an element of mystery in the word itself.

Wilson: LOL, Nahhhh. I dont like Selena Gomez. Ew. But her song's lyrics are nice.

Sabrina & Yuwen : This one can? :B

Muruku: Nah, thanks, but no thanks.

ELMO, Alfiah and Wilson: Nah, No worries, I WONT fall. :)

Sabrina: Lololol.

By the way, it's minutes to my dear Potato's birthday!

Happy birthday, darlin'! :DD

Loves yeah!

I promised myself.

Imma forget everything that happened.

Living in the past aint gonna change anything.

Whoever it is, I will forget, by hook or by crook.

Yes, those have been nice memories.

But, I will not allow myself to entangle the emotions behind it.

It will be like a silent replay.

No attached emotions.

Because it was never worth it.

Thought(s) of the day,

I wish to sing with all the voices of the mountains,

and paint with all the colours of the wind.

I am afraid, for every hello ends with a goodbye.

Hmm, seems this turned out to be a long post anyway.

:)

Our time is HERE

Hello.
Finally Achievement Day is O-V-E-R !
Woots.
3 months have passed.
3 more weeks to my first paper.
Ohmygodddddddd.
Must study like shit already, though, I dont know how shit studies. :)

Anyway.
YESTERDAY
Wahaha, school ended at 11.30am, but by the time we left, it was 12 alr.
And when I reached home, it was 12.30pm.
Great.
Ate, showered, then chiong-ed to school.
Rushed Eng lol.
Then went for Choir.
Hoho, was singing the Mamma Mia Medley while Ms Boh played the piano.
High man! :)
Then had to start warm-ups.
Oh well.
Hahas, then sing, sang, sung.
Went for rehearsal in the hall.
Hot man...
After that, sang somemore, then had window period while Ms Ong settled the concert stuff.
Finally, our time to sing came. :)
Made our way to the hall by the no-one-can-see way.
Which, in other words, is one BIG roundabout.
._.
When we went there, Band took up like lots of space there.
o.o
Then wait wait wait, finally, time to shine! :)
Hoho.
I think the perf was okay.
Mdm Xie told me afterwards that I smiled very naturally, but, I think it was weird..
NEVERMIND.
So after that, had to stay in AVA, sad, cant see concert.
-.-
Hais.
Oh well, crapped in AVA.
Wip came backkkkk!
Ohmytians!
Missed her ALOT MAN!
Thanks for the letter, wip.

I like your chinese name tooo, Leling! :)
I want to sing with you also!
Miss blending with you man.
True, it's really interesting AND funny to know we have so much coincidences eh.
:p esp the Jerk parts man!
Hahah! XD
I love hugging you toooo!
It gives me a sense of scurity. :)
Well, it's nothing, about the solo thing.
There's a reason, why I'm distant with them sometimes.
MAYBE, I do care, but I'm really trying hard not to..
Heyyyy, we both ARE good girls yeah! :))
Love ya loads, bucketloads, truckloads. X)

Yessssss.
Then after that, waited for Band to finish, then snapped some pics.
The rest went northpoint while I waited for my parents.
Turns out I went northpoint as well, so go figure what happens next.
:)

TODAY

Happy birthday XUEQI, SAM and QIAOXI! :)
May all your dreams come true yeah! :)

Was pretty reluctant to get up today..
Oh well, went for tuition.
REVISION!
All right.
Will do that now.
:)
Tataa.

Tag replies!
Xueqi: Hahaha! :)
Jeremy: It IS simple English. -.-
ELMO: Hahhaa. :)
Xueqi: Really? Thanks yeah! :)

So sick

Hello people.
Wanted to do a proper post, but I dont have time.

I'm so sick of homework.
I'm so sick of doing things fast.
I'm so sick of rushing.
I'm so sick of doing things things that matter.
I'm so sick of it all.

All I want, is to take off and go somewhere.
Or maybe, just fall into a deep slumber, and not wake up from my dreams.
Why.
Why is time never on our side?
Time, why must you go so fast?

And, this is the first time I'm so close to crying for AMATHS.

P/s. Will reply tags another day.
Thanks for tagging, people. :)
I really appreciate it.

That was the day I'd promised I'd never sing of love,

If it does not exist.

I got a lot to say!

Hey people.
Hurhs.
How many problems can one simply know?
Knowledge is power, but too much of knowledge is a misery aye.
Anyway.
Bleahs.
I dont feel like going in to detail in to everything.
Many things have happened.
This is just a really bad timing for everything.
I'm torn apart.
Between day and night, heaven and earth, black and white.
It's always extremes.
Lost and Found. Love and Hate.
This guessing game..
It sucks.
Sometimes, listening to their stories, I just get this sense of familarity.
I know.
This must stop.
NOW.
But why?
I get the feeling that I'm so 贱.
I'm the one thinking otherwise.
The mistake was done.
But, it's like I erased the extent of the damage.
And I'm just giving chances again?
第一次是纯真 , 第二次是无知 , 第三次是愚蠢 .
(They say when a woman is cheated, the first time, it's naiviety. The second time, is ignorance. And the third time it's stupidity.)
And so?
While many mistakes are made, many regrets are formed too.
So, I'd say that, might as well just keep it as this.
Hah.
I've been thinking alot this whole day.
So I ended up being too tired, so I fell asleep in the afternoon.
Heh.
And I thought of alot of sentences.
:D
And Karthik was really facinated by them. LOL.

I want an eraser. To erase every misery, mistake and regret.
Things happen for a reason. That's how we learn.
Love cannot be forced.
I know this isn't what I wanted.
With every strike of lightening, comes a memory that lasts.
Not a word is left unspoken as the thunder starts to crash.
A word's just a word, till you mean what you say.
And Love, isnt love, till you give it away.
With one little action, is a chain reaction.
You've already got me coming undone..

Hur.
How I wish it were that easy.

Tag replies! :)
Ahhui - LOL. Okay, thanks. :p
Tianjie - Hahahah, lols! Xp
YT - I know. But I just dont want to think of it aye..
Irah - Standard one lah. :D
Xueqi - HEHEH! :))
ibc - Okayokay, SORRY BOSS!
Esther - Oh, okay.
YT - Yeah lor.
Ruby - Alrights! Thanks. :))

So, there you go.
Adieu.

Time, time.

Why is time always doing this to us?

Do you remember...?

Hey there.
Today.
Tuition-ed.
Time limits suck.
Honestly.
(-.-)
It's irritating too.
Then, went Northpoint with mum.
Saw some people. :)
Homed, thn did homework.

Like Yesterday.

Now.
I honestly dont know what to blog.
EARTH TO NINA!
THINK!
Bleahs.

I got a lot to say to you, yeah I got a lot to say.

CRAP.
Too confused + lazy + perplexed to think of anything.
I need a cooler.
I'm over heated ALREADY.
*drily*
Ironically, my temperature's always so cold.
HAH.

I hate this part, right HERE.

I was lookin at my "daily horoscope crap" @ facebook, and I learnt something.

I learnt that I should refrain from taking heavy food after 5pm.

GEEZ.

Plain crap, then what do I eat for dinner?

Bread everyday?

O.O

My life is so full of what-ifs.

I still have some homework.

I'm exhausted.

No one sees that.

So we just take it back, so we just take it back, so we just take it back.

I realised not much people ACTUALLY know me well.

Sometimes, what's on the outside is NOT what's on the inside.

Sometimes, a smile is just a pretence.

Sometimes, silence is comfort.

Sometimes, solitary is better.

Sometimes, even I dont know who I am.

I'm weird eh.

Erase&rewind.

Dear NINA.

Will you stop dwelling on it alr?

Just heckcare.

You've got better things to do.

CHANGE. Wakeup.

From, NINA

Nameless Memory

Forgotten. Brainwashed.

Who am I?

왜?

Why did you do that to me?

If you treat me as a friend, tell me what you're thinking.

And I'm so sick of love songs.

Gotta go.

Toodles.

I want to express myself by singing..

I live a hard life.

Hello!

Hmm.
I guess I should edit what I said.
Yes, true.
It's in general.
But.
Even though you consider me a muslim, I'm still a part of that world.
So yeah.
There gives.

I dont know la hah.
I guess..
Perhaps Time will prove to us, yes?
Unlike Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus, I dont get the best of both worlds.
So much for knowing.
Ha.

Tag replies!
Nicole : ((: You too, JIE! Thanks yeah! Love ya too! <33
Christine : :) Thanks!
Ibc : Hahah, I agree! ;D Goodluck too! (:
Yuwen : Gee, you still read me well. (: Thanks, I needed that. Hahah, you too, okay! :)

Yeah, there you go.
Oh yeah, if you haven't noticed, I changed most of the songs.
Hope you enjoy them! (: